CHANGE

In life, we all grow up dreaming about what we want to be. A lawyer, a chef, a florist, a doctor, but my dream was inevitable. I was going to be a performer. 

No if's or butts about it , and having a singer father and dancer mother, I had no choice. 

In what we choose to do, this determines the rest of our lives, how much money we make, who are friends are and where in the world we have to reside to make these personal dreams come true.

I guess I haven't really told this story too openly, but I hope it gives some of you a little bit of hope if you feel stuck, or in need of change and feel that it's not possible  . Here is my story of Change.

So in 2006, I finished high school at Riverside GHS. I had no UAI under my belt as I knew I didn't want to go to University and I wasn't going to stress myself out over trying to beat everyone for the highest score.

 I wanted to fight my own battle with my marks, and when I received a 94/100 for Music, I knew this was going to be my destiny. 

I've always believed in going toward what comes naturally, as this is the worlds way of telling you what you will excel in.

- What are you naturally good at?

-What do you enjoy doing?

-Whats the last thing you think about before going to sleep?

After school I did several different jobs, including office work, working in a coffee shop, and several appearances on television commercials and drama series. 

In 2008 I was advised by my new acting agent that there was an audition to replace Charlie in Hi-5 and that he thought I should go along.

I wasn't sure this was up my alley, but sucking it up, I went along, and the competitor in me came out. 

I took one look at the judging panel, the music and the scripts and I knew I had to make it mine. 

This was the first time in my life that true' dedication' came into play. I knew if I wanted a close shot, I had to drop everything, and I mean everything around me and work my ass off.

I gave away my festival tickets (that was huge for an 18 year old), I didn't go to my friends birthdays and I turned my phone off and learnt everything that I had to backwards.  Being prepared and feeling professional and 'ready' was the only way I could shake the nerves and do all I could possibly do to get the job, and if the position wasn't mine, I knew I did all I could. 

Luckily, it was mine, I fit the role and this isn't always the case with auditions as I later learnt. But for now a little life change and a little step closer to my dream was coming true.

Without all the details of 5 years on the job, I learnt a lot.

I made a decision from the very beginning to learn all I could from the new members and to put all of this in the memory bank for when they left and I would be fending for myself with a new group.

  I found it very hard to 'be myself' in the first year. Joining an already established group was hard, especially when everyone else was over 25 - 35. 

I found it hard to perform, hard to sleep and had constant nerves about if I was pleasing the team. 

I soon learnt that this was all part of a dramatic life change.

- Growing up

- New comfort zone

- One hurdle in the right direction

and it was all completely normal, but a HUGE learning experience.

The next 4 years on the job were incredible. Highs and lows, lots of travelling, touring, talking, laughing, singing , recording and learning a HELL OF A LOT of scripts. 

Everyday we were thrown individual hurdles, and being a part of a group is a hurdle in itself. 

5 different personalities all trying to pretty much live together. 

It was tough. I had nights away from home that I wasn't sure I could do it anymore, but the upside to the whole thing was I was doing what I loved. We were making kids and their families all around the world laugh and smile and working with charities that made peoples lives happier.  

Could I ask for more?

But in the year 2012 I knew I was done. 

I listened to my heart, and made one of the toughest decisions ever, which I actually delayed for 6 months in my head as I just couldn't take the plunge. 

I resigned , finished my last tour and moved on .

I wasn't so much done with the group or the workload, it was more the fact that I wanted to learn more and push myself and my mind into new areas of life .

This was the biggest change in my life so far. 

- leaving a team i'd worked with for so long

- saying goodbye to a steady pay check 

- quitting a job with no job on the horizon

But it was in my heart and I have never looked back. 

I felt proud to make a change and for my Happiness it's what was needed. 

I guess what I am trying to say is 

- in order to gain any kind of success you have to let some things go in order to make it happen. 

Sacrifice 

I lost friends, as I wasn't around as much, relationships fell through, and I missed a lot of family time but on the flip side, I saved my $ and wasn't frivolous, bought an apartment and now I have been able to rekindle some friendships and meet someone who is behind me all the way. 

Its important to 

- Surround yourself with positive people

&

- Not listen to the haters 

The most important thing I have learnt is you have to

LEAVE THE EGO AT THE DOOR

and 

BE WILLING TO START AGAIN

I never thought I could just walk out one door and into another. You have to be willing to go back to basics and work hard, even if that is 'beyond you' which it isn't , for anyone. 

Since leaving, I have been lucky enough to start up this blog which has had such a great outcome so quickly, and I am so lucky to have all of you as readers, so thank you. 

I decided to start a Pilates Training course and have just passed which makes me a 

Qualified Pilates Instructor

I've completed 3- 4 acting workshops and learnt more than I knew before and met so many creatives who have expanded my knowledge of the industry, I've sung and written and travelled overseas and just spent time with my family and getting to know myself again.

It hasn't been easy , but I guess I just want people to know that you can actually come out of any situation that you feel you can't. No matter how scary it seems or how down you may feel. 

I am here, I am alive and I have right now to do WHATEVER I want, WHENEVER I want, and so do you. 

We all do.

 Life has so many avenue's, who said we are stuck in just one?

I also decided to not make money a deciding factor of anything. 

Sure we need it, love it and it helps in life a bit... but it shouldn't be the deciding factor. 

 I feel richer now than I did when I was earning the most I ever had. I now have time to enjoy my money and enjoy the people around me and this makes me appreciate life more and not take anything for granted. 

I have a roof over my head and food in front of me and at the end of the day, it took a lot of change in my life for me to actually stop, smell the roses, and realise the most important things in life.

Maybe one day soon I will decide that I DO want to go UNI, or maybe I want to try my hand at teaching or just put my performing side on hold for a bit. It's always there, I'll always have it, but exploring new avenue's is what gives us dimensions .  

One choice or decision doesn't define me like I thought it did.

I was worried for a while that I would be judged for not achieving something as quickly or as largely as others would expect ( or I expected myself)  but who's right is it to sit around and judge?!

Everyone is on their own journey and at their own pace so lets try not to judge everyone around us. 

Do your own thing with your head forward, not comparing yourself to others .

Easier said than done, and I certainly am no expert, but it's a good reminder every now and then :)

Change is scary. 

Change is hard.

Change is necessary.

Go for your dreams and wander with your heart. 

 I promise you will never look back and wonder 'what if...'

Casey

xx

I would LOVE to know your stories of change 

Feel free to email me at 

caseyburgessblog@gmail.com

XX